Love Hurts!

Carl has never failed to make me laff each time I meet him. Till date he has been the joy of my life. He has allow me to learn lotsa stuff in life and gained quite a fair bit of knowledge. Life have been fun with him ard.

I've gotten to know some really great people thru him. Well... got to know Wayne thru Carl too.

Sometimes the greatest journey is the distance between 2 people.

Can I say next time better not to go out to eat with a Chef? haaha! Brought Wayne to Red Star to try the Dim Sum there. He loves the pig's skin boiled with peanuts. He loves the ice jelly! ok! loving those stuff is besides the point. The main thing is he orders so much and we can't finish the stuff we ordered! Well he says tats him! It's his job to eat!

He cooked for me again! Har kaw with a special sauce he concocted. He called it the Shanghai style!

Had a nice talk with Wayne. He is a good listener and also a good adviser.

Looking forward to meet up with him again!

Chef Wayne Nish! A well known Michelin Chef from New York. Finally had the chance to taste his cooking. Was invited over to his place for dinner. 2 simple dishes from him but it tasted absolutely FABULOUS! Pasta and Steak! No special preparation but just grabbed whatever he had in his fridge and cupboard.

After dinner, he whipped out a super duper smelly cheese which he had it air-flown to SG via Fedex. Woah! the smell is really pungent! Well Wayne says the world's best cheeses smells really bad! lol! I thot I wouldn't put that smelly stuff into my mouth for a million dollars! Hmmmm.... Eventually I did! Guess wat? It tasted superb! Forgot wat's the name of the cheese but it looks like Camembert. It came in a wonderful little wooden box. It tasted great with red wine. Have never seen cheeses like tat sold anywhere here in SG tho. Nice experience!

Animae Festival Asia 2008 aka AFA08 was at Suntec Convention Hall 403-404 on 22 & 23 Nov. Really take my hat of these cosplayers! The effort they took dressing up as their favourite jap animae characters.

Chloe, Evelyn, Lik Yong and myself had to be on duty for MPA Film Production Workshop 2008 Networking session. We had fun that nite tho it was super tired for us but end of the day we kinda enjoyed it. Great fun!

Brought Ashlynn to Hort Park. Trying to get some nice shot of her. Weather is so hot and she is not smiling much. But managed to get some nice shot of her. Hmm.. Hort Park is a nice place for outdoor Portrait Shots. Trying to get some free "models" to go there for some photo shoot.

My favourite photo taken in Maldives is this. Artistically taken haaha! Hope I can submit this someday for a photo competition.

Have been too lazy to do my blog for a long time... A lot have happened since my last post.

Ok! I'll do a slight update.

Carl is due to do his pest control consultancy in Maldives. Heard him mentioned bout his trip but not exactly sure when he is going. Suddenly calls me up on 12 September and asked me if i'm interested in Maldives. Accomodation & Flight provided leaving on the 19 Sep and returned on the 30 Sep. Of coz I would love to go! It's the One and Only Resorts Reethi Rah! US$1200/nite. Somewhere I would never ever go on my own. Packed my bag and off I go! The place is so beautiful and your photos can never go wrong... I just couldn't stop snapping in Maldives. A real Paradise! More photos in my facebook for those who wanna see what I've taken.

Almost forgot that I still have a blog ard. Been so bz and tired that I've no time to blog. Or am I getting old? Not much energy left after each day to blog anything.

Hmm... I should do something. Love to blog down stuff! Need to recall what have I done for the past 2 months (^_^)

There are many stuff I do not understand. How does 2 people get together? How do we know that 2 persons are suppose to be together? How do we look for the other half? How on earth do we find the correct wrong? How can 2 people live together for the rest of their lifes?

I'm done with Henry. Raymond and Johnson are still hanging ard in my life. I really feel for Ellsen but I'm not getting any response from him. How do I know who is right for me? Should I be with someone who would love me? Or do I need to have feelings for them too? I really do not know if I should feel for anyone. Do I need love? Or am I only needing companionship. Totally confused with my love life.

Alone is good. Alone gives you all the freedom. Alone means you dun have to report your locations. Alone means you can go out with whoever and where ever you want. I think I want my life like a bird. Fly free like them whenever I want. Is this call selfish? I dunno. I really dun want to be a goody two shoes anymore. Why should I be good to pple always? Why can't I even get a little wee bit of real concern without any motives? I'm tired of giving unconditioned love and concern to anyone anymore. I really do not know what had killed that in me. Tired. I really am.

have been assigned the SingTel account. A new beginning and a whole new learning curve for me.

Hmm... Why do I not feel anything this time. Is it because this time it's really the end?

As a matter of fact I even feel at peace that I'm finally done with Henry.

I thot I could change. I really thot that I could change into something which he wanted. I've done my best but guessed I've failed miserably. He told me why I constantly go back to him it's because that I knew I had not given my best each time and I'm going back to give it another shot.

I suddenly start to ask myself why did I go back to him in the first place? I gave it a deep thot this time. Nope! I went back to him this time is not because I knew that I've not tried my best and I wanted to give it my best shot this time. I went back is because he told me that he could not do without me and he doesn't care if I change or not. That was the main reason why I was back!

Goosh! How on earth did the facts get twisted this way?

Can't say it's entirely his fault. When things turns sour, both parties play a part.

His last sms to me: Cherish our good memories... And if you ever one day wanna come back and try again... I'll be here for you.

Nope... I'll never want to try anymore. If our characters are not complimenting each other, no matter how much love there is, things would never worked out. There would be thousand and one reasons for us to argue. I do not seek a perfect life. I can live with imperfection. You are not for me. Never ever will be for me.

Goodbye HENRY! For good.

He has always been a ray of light for me. The one and only true love that I had these past 6 years. 6 years 4 times I've gone back to him. Time and time again hurt has never failed to get me. Am I just being dirt cheap to keep going back to him? I've been accused that for the past 6 years it has all along been a one sided relationship. If I do not appreciate him I can leave. This is again too hurting for me. Why would anyone be wasting 6 years of her youth for this man? WHY? So this is call one sided?

This all boils down again to my views of being together. Is there a need to change so much for each other? Do you think you had changed for me? NEVER! Everything is just so temporary! Why am I giving in so much? I've never given in to anyone so much ever in my life. So who's the one changing? Sigh.... every little thing bothers you. You shouldn't even be on earth. The best place to be is to be in Heaven. Everything would be perfect for you.

Had a secondary school gathering today. I thot that it would just be another ordinary gathering we had as usual but it turned out to be fantastic.

Met Liyun as well as Xueni. Both are proud mothers of 2 kids each. Updated quite a fair bit of those frens tat we kept in touch with.

Planning to have another round of gathering during National Day. Bet it's gonna be another exciting round of Ladies Afternoon! (^_^)V

18 May 2008, the arrival of my niece, Little Princess Ashlynn. Another taurus. Another little stubborn girl to the family haha!

The very first baby in both sides of the family. I think every single one is gonna dote on her. Hope no one spoils her.

Ahhh.... how nice to have a little new born in the family =) LOVELY!

There seems minimum space left for my tolerence level. I dunno wat's happening to me. Sometimes it just makes me feel that there's no hope for anything. What is it that I'm unable to let go. Many decisions I've made just screws up my life. I'm trying hard to find whatever thats left of my determination and confidence to go on. I'm so so so afraid to just leave things to my heart anymore. I could no longer trust my heart. I'm just so so so afraid to be hurt once again.

A new ray of hope for my career. Thot I had to take up the Mass Comm Diploma before I can get a job in the marketing and entertainment sector.

Went for an interview last nite. The interview lasted for 2.5hrs! Well everything turned out well. They are willing to offer me the pay I'm looking for and the benefits are equivalent to my current job. The flip side is only the bonus payout is definitely lesser than what I'm getting here.

Honesty and working together as a family in a company is what I'm looking at. I can feel the sincerity in Florence when I spoke to her last night. Maybe she will make me change my perception of a female boss.

Red Dawn Communications is where my new phase of life is starting. I believe this job will bring out my strength in my personality instead of my current job which will only highlight my weakness constantly.

Looking forward to starting my new job.

Wonder how on earth did he appeared in my dreams. I've never really dreamt of anyone from my office before except myself. Not sure how he ended up being a very good fren of mine in my dreams. Hmm... weird. Am not even close to him at all in any way.

Brings back memories.

Before --------------- After

Went to get my haircut again on Sat. As usual have to get my before and after photo shot by Robin. It kinda feels awkard but I guess soon its like quite norm.

I wanna get Blue highlights but was stopped by Eve saying my hair is already half dead and I still wanna bleach it. I really wanna do either the Blue or Purple highlights. Well see when it comes May if I can managed to get my Blue or Purple highlights.

Hmm... think it's time for me to start making my birthday wish list!

OK! I know it's your first Pedicure but ermm... wat an expression! But I like the way Erica did up your pretty little toes.

Oh yeah! And tat pretty pink little toe ring. Dun worry you will get your chance to do french pedicure the next time. Maintain your toe nails well ya!

"Who are you wearing"

Currently I like 2 colors from Pinc. One is "Premier" (gives you the elegant look) and the other one is "Who are you wearing" (which gives you the gothic look)

Looks like my in-grown toe nails may be coming out soon. Then it will be time for me to do my pedi again!

Hmm.. wat else are we gonna try doing together. It's fun doing stuff with you. Hmm... getting our cartilage pierced, doing mani & pedi, maybe the next time we might end up together doing tatoos! Gee! tats exciting (^-^)V

Today is my Miki Baby's 4th Birthday! Happy Birthday Dear! You have been a great companion for me. A very clever girl with human instinct! I think no one would ever replace you. I love you girl!

You Can't Change The World Alone!

If you are not too long

I'll wait here all my life

-- Oscar Wilde

I'm getting so sleepy here in Suzhou office.

Weather cold and nothing much to do. Why am I here in Suzhou?

HELP!

Hmm... only realised last nite when I came back from the movie that I've lost my necklace. One of my favourite. Yeah rite. cost me a bomb too! Sigh! What a day!

I'm gonna miss it!

Robin has asked me something. Have I gotten past Henry. I said YES! I lied! But I'm trying hard to get over him tho. Someone whom I've loved so deeply before how could I say I'll forget and forget so easily? I can only try my very best to get over. The hurt was too much to bear. No one knows how bad it was. I had to bear that alone. I've not cried so bad in front of anyone before. Robin was there to witness my hurt.

He definitely have affected me in many ways. I can only get by each day trying to put everything behind. Do things to divert my attention from thinking about him.

Good Luck Karen!

Flowers received on this day again. This time round is given by another person. Obviously this new person does not know what kinda flowers I like. Even Robin & Lee Choo wonders why this person send me lilies.

I guess Jonathan totally given up already. He has been like sending me flowers for consecutive 3 years. Known him for 7 years. Have been after me tat long a period of time. Guess he and me just not fated. Personality totally opp. he won't even lift a leg to go for a walk. Sigh! Having heart attack @ age 31. It's all due to unhealthy diet and total non excercise!

Hmm... why are all the pple whom I can't really accept are after me? The person that I wanted didn't even make any move at all. This is frastrating. But after some time I'll just feel that being alone is not so bad after all. Being alone makes me feels lonesome at times but I get to do all the things I want without any restriction at all. I need a lot of personal space! I really do! I dun think anyone can tie me down.

If you love me, LET ME BE FREE!

Ronghui just called me last nite. What the both of us are attracted to is each other's personality haaha! But sad to say we are not attracted to each other. I think I'm looking forward to find someone of his personality and he is looking forward to find someone of my personality. Good luck to the both of us!

V Day! Just like another ordinary day has passed.

I just can't make myself do this anymore! It has been 5 years. You have been the man I've wanted after I shut off for 5 years trying to get over Darrick. It has been hard on me. But you've moved me. You really have. I've gone against everyone to be with you, Do you know how hard it has been on me? I can take nonsense from everyone but I need to know that you are worth me taking all the nonsense. But you choose not to trust me. You do not trust me to handle things properly. Do you know how much you had hurt me? It hurts so bad. It really does. I can't bring myself to accept this. It hurts so bad that it has really killed part of me.

Is that a curse? Maybe I'm really meant to be alone. I can't make myself like anyone whom I can't give my heart to. I've never doubt your love for me. Never! It's just not meant to be. Happiness is never meant to happen to me.

I hate the feeling of being stalked! Why can't you just leave my blog alone? Why can't you just READ ONLY? I dun need your comments! I'm getting pretty sick of telling you all these! I know how to handle my life! SO QUIT TELLING ME WAT TO DO!

This is so fucked up! Dun blame me this time if I really shut off from you! You only have yourself to blame!

Why can't these pple give me the PEACE I need? The more you push the further I'll go! Dun come blame me later that I'm ignoring everyone! I'm sick of work and I'm sick of everyone pushing me ard!

BE CAREFUL! BE VERY CAREFUL of wat you do!

Better give me the space I need!

Thot it will be hard to look for a new job. But once I submitted my resume, less than 3 hours, I got called up for 2 interviews.

This time I really had enough at work. But it's definitely not the work that dissed my off but its basically those idiotic pple tat dissed me off. It's really high time I look for a new envoirnment to start all over again. Should I get back to accounts again? I would love to try out event co-ordinator instead.

I hate this feeling! What's there to fight over with? If it's yours its yours! How many times do I have to say this? This is damn fucking frustrating! I should shut myself down! Just work and home!

How come I'm getting the feeling that he will never let go? Will I get entangled with him forever? My heart has stopped feeling for a long time already. Will I ever let my heart go again?

Hmmm... he's reading my blog again. Sigh.

Geox Jodie White. One of my fav. pair of shoes. It goes with almost everything. My dress, shorts, skirt & pants. Now when I go on my trip, I just need this pair of shoes. But one thing I hate it coz it needs lotsa maintainence. Lotsa cleaning to do each time you come back home. But I guess it's worth the effort. But I'm getting lazy. Not cleaning it EVERY time I come home coz I'm wearing it almost everyday haaha!


Hope they carry this model longer so that if my current pair wears out I can still get another pair.

Aiming for this pair at the same time. Dream Coffee. But I've yet to seen it in the store. Dang! It's retailing at almost S$300!

Hmmm... with all these tempting food ard.... HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT? lol! ehhh.... nvm eat in moderation!