Friday, March 30, 2007

Hmm... guess who I met at the MTA 2007 today? My classmate in 2AC3. Ever since we grad in 1998 today is the day which we finally meet each other. We didn't even have that kinda doubt that ehhh.... is that Shan Shan or ehhh.... is that Karen? It has been 10 years.

My legs almost gave way today. Stood the whole day at the exhibition today. I can't believe a lao uncle said this. I asked him to take a look at our products he can come tell me he rather take a look @ me then to look @ our products. *faintz*

After the exhibition my Jap boss wanted to go for dinner. Kept giving me & Shawn so much food and wanting me to eat so much dessert and asking me to drink champagne. Lucky I wasn't sitting near him so I escaped the drinking part. Many of my colleagues did not join us for the dinner. It was a small group and it indeed brings back the memories of the time when we were still @ beach road office. A nice and cosy dinner.

Learnt something new today. Kohi in Jap mean coffee. But never say this in Thailand coz Kohi in Thai means virginal.
Hmm... my bro managed to dig out this photo. My very first Christmas in my life. The Christmas which left me a deep impression.

It's at my cousin's place @ Lengkok Bahru. No wonder tat time when Ellsen mentioned Lengkok Bahru to me I find it so familiar. I can still recall my bro, me and my cousins were gathered together opening up presents. It's a wonderful feeling. Thanks to Jenny & Alfred. OMG! haaha they really watched up grow up. I'm already 29. Jenny can't wait for me to be married off lolz She's getting to be more like my mommie No. 2. Anyway she'll be seeing my bro getting married first on 27 May this year. As for me, she's in for a long wait. Marriage is not under my priority list. If it comes it comes.

Thursday, March 29, 2007


Had my ingrown toe nails extracted last nite. I was in such great pain. Am near to tears during the whole process. Had to do it if not I'll die tomorrow and saturday. Am on duty @ the Singapore Expo for the MTA 2007.
He's happy... Very happy. Got his wifey back today. Wanted to meet me for tea break. Too bad my office dun practice tea break.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


He's green over him. Asking who's better.
Can't compare at all. Totally different personality. Big age difference. The only common thing both have is that both makes me laugh and both says I smell nice.
But one definitely makes me feels more secure if I were to really compare.

Monday, March 26, 2007

He can't wait for his wifey to be back. Getting her back this week liao. Wonder this time wat he has done to her lolz!

Hmmm... last nite say I very gao soh! Nothing to do bored sure go out one mah! *sheepish grinZ* Told him in the afternoon I suddenly very moody! Hmm... think he got worried.

Tomoro another long day for him. 5 hrs chemo waiting time again and working nite. Well nothing new to him.


He throw tantrum again yesterday. Saying I've not been showing him much concern. Rejected going out with him 3 days in a row. He flooded my sms inbox that afternoon but I managed to get him out of his funny mood within an hour. Wouldn't be able to do that last time.
Guess for our ex we just knew which button to push to make them pissed or which button to push to make them happy.

Saturday, March 24, 2007


My mum had lunch with me yesterday afternoon. Mentioned to me that she met Mr Xu Yao Hua my primary school chinese cum sport teacher @ the bedok market.

He can't recognise my mum but when my mum mentioned my name he actually remembers! I'm absolutely shocked! I got to know this teacher in 1986 and it has been 21 years. Grad from my primary school for 17 years already and yet he still can remember me. He's the teacher who got me started in Field event, Shot Put. Maybe I'm the first student whom he had coached tat managed to came in first in the inter-school track & field and went on the win the Gold medal in the national schools "C" girls championship all the way till I grad from school. I can say that I owe my entire career in my Field event to him. Without him getting me started and the encouragement he has given I wouldn't be where I am in the Shot Put event. Of coz not forgetting Marie Chan my sports secretary in my sec. sch. who had also inspired me and of coz Mr Ravi & Mr Yue in ITE Bishan whom they guided me and the care given when I was there.

HaiZ! Wasted! My mum didn't get Xu Yao Hua's contact. He has long retired from teaching. Hope my mum or me runs into him again. It would be nice to catch up after so many years especially when he still remembers me.

Friday, March 23, 2007


This is Shawn. My colleague. He always put on a happy go lucky atitude in front of us. He may always be smiling and laughing things off during difficult times. But deep down inside he maybe facing and going thru difficult times but it will never get him down and stop him from moving forward. I personally think that he's a very sentimental guy.

Shawn sms me last nite bout 11 plus saying that WangWang collapsed and bang his back. Says that he think that WangWang might be dying and needs to apply for a half day afternoon leave to send WangWang for treatment. Told him not to wait and it's better to send him in the morning instead.

This morning Shawn called office, I answered and he told me that WangWang had passed on. I can tell from his voice that he might have just cried and he sounded quite devestated. Called back to apply for full day leave to cremate WangWang in the afternoon. I dun feel too good when I received this news. It came as a shock to me too. Altho I'm not exactly close to Shawn but I do know that he does love WangWang very much. I didn't like the way some of colleagues making fun of WangWang's death in office this morning. It seems like none can felt what Shawn is going thru.

On my way back from dinner earlier this evening, I sent an sms to Shawn "Hope you are coping well" I do not know how or what to say to comfort him. He replied "Thk u praying downstairs nw! Only pple who haf dog will understld i guess" Suddenly I'm kinda overwhelm by sadness. Tears started flowing. Can't seems to stop. I felt the sadness that Shawn is experiencing. I do not know how I would cope if Miki were to pass on. It's not easy. Sigh!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Love has always been complicated. At least to me it is. How long can love last?

I've just watched 奇迹 on TV just now. It made me realised the one and only love that is so simple and totally non complicated and with total scarifices is love from parents. No matter how many mistakes you've made and how wrong you are, parents are ever so ready to forgive you and always the first to care & worried bout you.

Yes they scold, they nag, they make lotsa noise. I guess this is the only way that they show their concern. I've long learnt to accept their way of showing concern. *Sheepish SmileZ*

Monday, March 19, 2007

Went for a swim on Sat with Sharon again. Not enuff rest and only swam 8 laps. At least it's better than nothing. After our swim we decided to take a look @ New Majestic Hotel. They offer very nice rooms but the price is also very "nice" lolz!

Sharon arranged to meet up with Lilo @ Outram. This is the second time I met up with her. I still dun get very good vibes from her. I still dun feel comfortable ard her. I really dunno why I'm feeling this way. Am I feeling bias towards her? I really dunno. Is it because she's a Scorpio? And I really know how a scorpio behaves and thinks? No matter wat I'll still accept her as long as Sharon accepts her. Or should I say no matter who she chooses I'll still accept the person whom she chooses to be with.

Recently the both of us have been talking a lot. Does this means we are getting closer? Where do I stand? How far have I gone into her life? She had mentioned tat i'm essential in her life but the definition of essential? Previously I treated her as my best friend but I do know that to her I'm not. Am I now? Well I've choosen to let go and let things happen. If is comes it comes. At the same time, is it because we knew each other for so long? Maybe now I do play a part in her life but I do not want her partner to feel that what I say may affect her decision with them. I do not wish to have her partner being nice to me just because they knew that I now plays a part in her life.

We do care about each other a lot tats for sure. I know I'll be there for her.
I had a strange, scary & intense dream on saturday nite. Woke up with a shock! Dreamt bout Sharon. This is the first time I had actually dreamt about her and I can still remember it so clearly even till today.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Sharon invited me to St James last nite. It was pretty fun. We were @ the Broiler Room. Music was great! The singers and dancers were very entertaining. Towards the end ,the music was even better and had a great time dancing. I'll be back again.

Sharon's friends had a funny game last nite. Challenge to tequila shots? Each side get 5 pple and one drink after another to see which side finish up faster? Haahaa i dun get it too. But last nite was my first time for tequila shot. The lemon slice definitely does it's trick! So I guess taking shots is not as bad as I think. I should be able to handle tequila shots pretty well.

Most prob I'll try the other rooms the next time round.
Are clubbing places always a place to pick up pple? Caught 1 guy kept trying to have eye contact with me last nite, kept smiling @ me non-stop then moving closer and closer to our table as he swayed to the music but b4 he could make any move further, I make my way out of the club and he winked @ me. I know wat that wink meant haaha! Then another constantly looking @ me for bout close to an hour. Wasn't in the mood to flirt last nite so just left the 2 guys alone lol.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Went out to celebrate Robin's birthday with Lee Choo. Went to makan @ Soup Restaurant and we ended up @ Xin Wang for a drink. End up taking photos non-stop again. Had fun taking photos.


Ordered the peanut butter toast. Hmm... taste great but the toast is kinda too thick! But I still like it anyway. "peanut butter toast! come come come! I wanna gobble you up!" *giggles*
I received a sms from Boon Sun this afternoon. He's so cute! Guess wat he msg me? " Can I be the cheap guy and ask you out for supper?" haaha trying to tease me on one of my Blog's entry. My dearest blog fan thanks for bringing tat smile on my face for today *wink*

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Liked this song. Would like to share the lyrics with who ever that chance upon my blog.

不要害怕 - 王力宏

不要害怕 不要害怕
愛一個人其實並不複雜
不要害怕 不要害怕
過去的眼淚用今天去擦

午夜的兩點半 我走不進夢鄉
時間在逃亡 悲傷還在原地方
我將一床被單 絞成混亂一片
愛已經滅亡 然而思念更堅強

我答應自己不要放棄
我答應自己不要忘記

閉上眼想一遍 妳轉身的模樣
每一個角度 都好像一種飛翔
我因為看著妳 回憶妳而悲傷
是妳在心裡不斷的想

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


悄悄为你降临的是平安
静静为你散放的是温馨
默默为你祝愿的是幸福
深深为你期待的是成功

Monday, March 12, 2007

Love??? (part 2)

Love is being there for each other no matter ups or down.
Living in your life as well as you in my life such that two become one.
It’s growing old together, making you happy when you’re sad, taking care of you when you’re sick, be there for you when you needed someone.
Love???

Time will prove my love to you
And cement my place in your heart
For time will give me the credibility
And the believability that I need
To convince you to want to spend your life with me
That I am worthy of such a commitment from you
"Love" by Khalil Gibran

Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
One of my favourite.

"Chantal Kreviazuk - Leaving On A Jet Plane"

“All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
'This early morn
The taxi's waitin'
He's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go”

Sunday, March 11, 2007

From the ever fucker again!

"Not even a word of sorry till now. You've never ever thought that you're in the wrong thats why! The day you feel you're at fault and lose enough weight the sun will rise from the west! Haha"

I'll never be sorry for things I've done which I've not gone against my conscience. I never will. So if you are expecting any apology from me? DREAM ON!

Losing enuff weight or not also not up to you to decide you FUCKER! GET A LIFE ASS HOLE!

Friday, March 09, 2007

I've received another one of her stupid sms again.

"Btw losing weight means not going for supper with cheap guys who'll only treat you to nasi lemak n pratas, do you know how fattening they're?"

"Don't always think I can't get over you. I'm single coz I'm enjoying my life and dun wanna accept anyone as easily as I accepted you. You dun treat me well and always quarrel with me over your disgusting friends. Not having a good figure is ok if you've got good personality. Everything you dun have and when I'm sick ask you to buy food for me You're more concerned about blading with your frens. Well, blade some more lor! LOL"

I can't help myself but to swear @ her. She's being such a fucker time and time again! I dun even understand wat kinda thots is going thru that pea brain of hers or even if there's one.

How ugly can one person get? How vicious can one get? How much can one person make up stories & thots? No more chance for friendship this time. Enough is enough!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Went to The Bark Cafe for dinner with Sandy and Johnny. Had an enjoyable dinner. Dennis came later with Lucky.

I thot my joy would last the evening. She had to come msg me asking if I'm still buddy with Sharon. Does it matters? Why does it bother her so much? We've been thru this again and again so many times till I'm so sick of it. Told her to stick her nose somewhere else and stop bothering me who I'm mixing with.

So I guess there's only 1 possibility that she knows and will ask is only thru Peggy who saw me with Sharon @ the Sayoni's gathering or anyone else at the sayoni's gathering that she knew.

What a fucker!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

ENDORPHINS


Endorphins are neurohormone polypeptide molecules, synthesised by the hypothalamus of the brain and secreted into the bloodstream by the pituitary gland. There are four different types of endorphin produced in the body:
  • Alpha
  • Beta
  • Gamma
  • Sigma

Beta endorphins consist of 30 amino acid subunits and it is the beta endorphins which show the greatest increase in plasma concentration during times of exercise.

Endorphins are thought to be released from the pituitary during times of pain or stress. Studies have also looked into the affect of acidosis, caused by exercise, on endorphin release(2). Exercise induced acidosis of the blood appears when prolonged exercise has occurred and oxygen flow to the muscles has decreased. Anaerobic respiration occurs causing lactic acid accumulation, which results in acidosis. This acidosis is then thought to stimulate the pituitary to release the endorphins.

HOW DO ENDORPHINES IMPROVE OUR MOOD?

Endorphins are released into the bloodstream by the pituitary
Endorphines enter nociceptive afferents (nerons which carry pain implulses to the brain)

Endorphines then bind to opioid receptors in the neurons (mu, kappa, delta). These receptors are the same as the receptors which drugs like morphine bind to.

Endorphins have an antagonistic effect on the receptors and therefore block the release of neurotransmitter molecules from the nerve terminal.

NO PAIN SIGNALS REACH THE BRAIN!!!

The endorphins are therefore said to have an analgaesic effect.

By having this analgaesic effect on the body, endorphin release results in a state of euphoria. As well as reducing pain this also aids in the reduction of stress. Due to these effects, endorphins are known as the body's "natural painkillers". Because they have similar actions to opiate drugs they are also known as the endogenous opioids.

Other actions of endorphins include:


  • Stimulation of the immune system by the activation of natural killer cells
  • Postponement of aging.

HOW DOES EXCERCISE AFFECT ENDORPHIN RELEASE?

Blood levels of beta-endorphins have been found to increase to as much as five times their resting levels during a prolonged bout of aerobic exercise (over 30mins). This measurement varies from person to person and is affected by how much regular exercise you take part in.

As tolerance of the body to opioid drugs increases with increased use over time, the pattern of tolerance to endorphins follows a similar path(3). The more regularly you exercise, the higher the body's natural tolerance to endorphins. This means that as you exercise more, you require a higher intensity of exercise in order to produce the same endorphin release. As with opioid drugs, exercise can become addictive, as athletes begin to require the analgaesic effects of the endorphins. This analgaesic effect is sometimes referred to as "the runners high". Like any addiction, exercise addiction can result in dependence, tolerance, and continued use or participation despite adverse affects, leading to the sacrifice other activities to devote more time to exercise. The "runners high" is said to be experienced by 60-70% of well conditioned runners.

PSYCHOLOGICAL HYPOTHESES EXPLAINING HOW EXERCISE AFFECTS OUR MOOD

The Mastery Hypothesis

This states that exercise enhances mood because it triggers a sense of achievement(3). Mastering a new skill or being good at an old one makes us feel accomplished and may well have an affect on our mood.

The Distraction Hypothesis

This states that exercise alleviates depression by temporarily distracting us from the everyday stresses of our lives.

Social Interactions

Socialising with our peers often accompanies exercise eg. playing in a team. We may feel happier after exercise due to this social interaction rather than the actual effects of the exercise itself.

So......there are many possible explanations for the reasons why exercise affects our mood, making us feel happier in life. Whether the effects are physiological, psychological or a combination of both, we may never fully understand the reasons behind the exercise high.

Perhaps exercising affects everybody in different ways and we will never actually define one mechanism for the mood altering effects of exercise. Given all the physical benefits to exercise it does seem logical that it should also aid us mentally. Remember, "Healthy body, healthy mind!"

I really had to exercise. If not I'll be so depressed. Now I know why I'm so restless and so unhappy whenever I can't get to exercise. Went for a short swim today. It really cheered me up quite a bit. The swim did kinda help release some stress from my back actually.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Had a call from his mum. Hmmm... didn't understand the rush he had to get home that time. He told me later that he got paranoid. Still didn't understand what he mean.

Now I fully understand. His mum had cancer. It has been 4 years. She has been undergoing chemo. Once every 3 weeks. Everytime he takes leave it's for his mum. He has to bring his mum for chemo. 4.5 hrs each session. It's not the 4.5hrs thats taking a toll on him. Its the side effects after the chemo. She'll collapse while standing and god knows wat other effects she's experiencing.

Not sure if anyone can scacrifice tat much for their parents. I guess it's the love and responsibility for the parents which will motivate one to go on. At the same time family up bringing plays a very important part too.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

I like this photo of his.


And he like this photo of mine.

Hmmm... I wonder wat kinda attraction have we got for each other.

Went for a nice evening out with Sharon tonite. Dinner @ Billy Bombers we talked a lot. Went to Prickly Bush to drop off something for her frens. Met a few pple from Sayoni. Seems like some of them gave us the look like the both of us are together. But it doesn't bother us much. We weren't in the mood for entertaining pple tonite. Went for a drink @ MezeBar @ Meritus Mandarin. This is the 3rd time I've been there. The place have undergone some renovation. Glad that they still have the the live band. The live band starts @ 9.30pm. Nice songs. Dedicated 2 songs. Fly me to the Moon and Moonriver. Only the first came out.

SMS him how's his nite while enjoying the music. He actually just reached home after work. He offered to come pick me home. That put a smile on my face. I kinda miss him a bit. But then again he has made it clear that we are looking upon each other as an activity partner. I shouldn't be thinking too much. If it comes it comes.

Saturday, March 03, 2007


Javed had his transit in SG before flying off to SFO. Took this chance to meet up with him as it's not easy to meet up with him. The only chance to meet up with him is only when he's taking SQ flight and transit in SG and tat is max. once a year. This time took the chance to bring him to Vivo and arrange to meet up for lunch with Sharon. Finally she had the chance to meet up with him. Haaha but the first encounter with him was when Javed is getting his manicure done! Wat could be a better way for the first meet up? lolz
Our photos always have been a traditional posing. Sharon suggested a new pose for our photo. So here it is *wink* and it turn out well. I like it. Should do more of such stuff.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Went to SGH for consultation today. The bone specialist advised that it will take me fastest 6mths to recover but normally it would be about 1 year for the fracture to heal. Dr Collins Woon gave me 10 days hospitalisation leave and I'll have to go back for review in 6 weeks time.


At least it will heal. But I've to stop all my sports activities for 1 full year. *slapZ forehead* how do I survive this one year? Hmm.. damn! Forgot to ask if swimming is ok.